TPTM OCs (WIP!!)

★ Display Persona:

𓆩 ♱ 𓆪 "I loved you like a dog, you betrayed me like a man" 𓆩 ♱ 𓆪

- ��
- 20, she/he
- autism, probably rsd lol
- friend requests always open!!

★ Last Seen Listening To:

All I Want Is You by Rebzyyx

★ Latest Journal Entries:

Last updated: ��

it happened again.. i am getting tired. another person who i thought would be the one friend i thought i could trust immediately turned on me and now im back to square one.. im getting so sick of ppl mistaking my friendship and, gulibilitg for weakness. now that i think abt it, they were discreetly making fun of me almost every day and i was just too blinded by how much we matched each other to realize it, this fucking sucks. im sick of following people i cant trust because more often than not, they will actively either secretly hate me or not take me seriously when i actually stand up to the,m. is it bc im gullible?? bc i actively trust every person i call my friend that they see it as an invitation to be fucking vitriolic behind my back,? im just, so cufking tired of my trust being taken advantage of oevr and over again, it's been happening since i was in elementary school and i havent gotten a break since (╥﹏╥) god im using fucking kaos in my vent piece no wonder ppl dont take me seriously. i actively thought to use that fucking thing, ppl r probably justified in seeing me as a court jester with no actual desire for a lasting bond,. i. i probably wont find anyone i can actually trust at this point. im considering if i shoulg just giveup early and spare myself the future mistakes i know ill make. i just cant do this anymore.

back at it again with our newest haul from the pop-up shop ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆ we managed to pool enough resources to finally get this one thing weve all been DYING to get!! Morgan is the best loll

- Kishori

𖤐 Display Persona:

୨✩୧ ON THE WORSE DAYS I CAN STILL FEEL GOD WATCHING. ୨✩୧

- ADULT.
- "SHE" IS FINE, BUT I LIKE CO/COSELF AND ONE/ONESELF.
- I ENJOY HORROR MOVIES, PIANO, AND MATH PUZZLES.

𖤐 Last Seen Listening To:

Almost Human by Voltaire

𖤐 Latest Journal Entries:

Last updated: ��

I do not want God to see me anymore. I do not want anymore eyes on me. This is near unbearable. I have no one to turn to. My mother is in the church. Many of my friends are in the church. They would tell me to find hope through Christ. They would tell me to pray to Him. They would tell me that He will save me. He must not remember He made me, and if He does, He simply does not care. I know this is unbecoming of me, and I don't mean to be dramatic. I am simply depressed, nervous, and I cannot tell what's real and what isn't anymore. I know I'm supposed to hear God speaking to me, but I do not, and I am tired of straining my ears. I just want to see a doctor. I want some kind of tangible solution. I do not want to pray anymore. Praying hurts. I only do it when I am afraid, but I am afraid much of the time. I don't want to be unheard anymore. I do not want to hold out hope for someone who does not act like they're there. I am hurting. I am hurting. I am hurting. Belief is hurting me. The idea of God is hurting me. I need an out. I am hurting.

When I have a job and money and I can move away from my shitty Mormon parents

- ��

♥ Display Persona:

ʚ♡ɞ that's so disgusting, what's wrong with you? (CAN U DO IT AGAIN?) ʚ♡ɞ

- ��
- she/her, just turned 19... ♥
- psychotic gorewhore ♥
- into any media thats objectively fucking awful

♥ Last Seen Listening To:

They Will Always Haunt Me by Banshee

♥ Latest Journal Entries:

Last updated: ��

theres something so broken in me thats beyond saving. so i dont know why i keep trying to be saved. i meant to kill myself when i was 18. i didnt. all ive wanted to do lately is kill someone or something. i havent. im too much of a pussy to plan anything concrete, no matter how much i hate everyone around me. no matter how much i get off to videos of people dying or how much i love cutting myself i cant actually take action against other people. i am fucking purposeless. i was born from evil and i will always be evil and i cant even live up to that. i hate myself i hate myself i HATE myself and the universe hates me too. i dont know what to fucking do at this point. i talked to one of my friends about wantingto die and they said smthn about hospitalizing myself. maybe. i dunno. i dont know what else there is for me/. my eyes are fucking burning from lookign at my computer for so long adn not getting any goddamn sleep. i am not a good person. i dont think i can be helped but i just dont wanna fucking keep goign to school and being around people and pretending like everything is norma;l. i cant keep doing it. what the fuck is wrong with me whagt happened. why cant i be loved or feel love for other people when did something change in me that switched the aggression and affection parts of my brain. im hyperventilating ill be back. maybe

getting myself onigiri from this one good boba place 2nite bc im 8 months clean...... its the little things~ ^^

- ��

𖦹 Display Persona:

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼 does the body rule the mind or does the mind rule the body? 𖥧𖡼𖤣𖥧

- �� + 20 they/them/she/her disabled
- ME/CFS + other ailments you cannot imagine
- likes sewing + media preservation + other pretentious things

𖦹 Last Seen Listening To:

Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh by underscores

𖦹 Latest Journal Entries:

Last updated: ��

i know i dont hate being disabled... i just hate being disabled in a society that makes existing difficult... but sometimes i really just dont want to be disabled anymore. i dont want my family to lecture me about how i could be helping out more, or how i should get a job. i dont want teachers to keep asking me whats wrong or the fuckin uni counselor to try to get me hospitalized. i dont want to be in so much pain anymore, to feel so exhausted that i cant even do so much as prepare food for myself, let alone do anything meaningful or fulfilling. its not fair. i shouldnt have to stay inside and sit in the dark all day,. i should be able to have friends. to talk to people and to go out with them and to feel like i am alive. its lonely and traumatic to suffer through this and on top of that no one around me understands, and they never fully will. i am tired of trying to justify my existence to everyone, to explain the pain that i am in and why i shouldnt have to experience it. i know the problem isnt me. i know i live in a world that isnt built for me. but if the world cant change then sometimes i truly feel that i should just stop living in it. my lifespan is already shorter than everyone else's anyways. what difference does it make

my qpps didnt seem to appreciate me playing Alien Kids Alien Rap for them. Do they even love me

- ��

⊹ Display Persona:

જ⁀➴ Lower I get, the higher I'll climb ⁀➷

- ��
- Adult (27)
- She/Her
- Fan of anime, Pokémon, Tamagotchi, Digimon, etc.

⊹ Last Seen Listening To:

終点の先が在るとするならば。 by TUYU

⊹ Latest Journal Entries:

Last updated: ��

唉～It is 3 AM and I should go to sleep but I can't. I have a work zoom meeting early in the morning and I gotta hit the gym also because I haven't done leg day in like... weeks. Oh well, it doesn't even matter. My value is depleting but I don't think I care anymore. The turnaround date for my code is also in a couple of days and I haven't made any progress. I keep getting the same error and I'm too tired to figure out what's wrong. I might get fired at this rate LOL(笑). If that happens, I think I'll just consider ending it all. Not that anybody will miss me. God I sound so weak and pathetic right now. When did it get like this. How did it get like this. I'm sure I'll be fine. I've been through worse before and this is nothing. Ugh, why is it so hard to breathe? My chest hurts and I feel like something is wrong but I don't know how to make it go away. Should I call someone about this? No. No one is awake or around to help. I'll be fine. I'll just sleep it off. Shake it off... shake it off...

My Tamagotchi beeped during a meeting fml

- ��

ꔛ Display Persona:

᧔o᧓ i want to be the girl with the most cake ᧔o᧓

- 20, it/he/she
- autistic, ocd, bpd
- amateur baker

ꔛ Last Seen Listening To:

HARMLESS by Black Dresses

ꔛ Latest Journal Entries:

Last updated: ��

i thought i was doing better but i cant stop thinking about them. their touch, their interests, their smile, everything. the worst part is that i miss them, after all of what they've done to me. i was 13. i dont even feel justified calling it rape since our relationship was so muddy... they never yelled at me or was angry at me, they just got so sad when i tried to speak my mind, and got all my friends to hate me when we finally broke up. i never said no so i feel like im insulting actual survivors by feeling violated. i wasnt even trying to get into a relationship with them, it just happened... i feel like everyone around me wants me in the same way they did, even though im an adult now and i dont even try to make myself appealing. i wish i could trust people not to take advantage of me, and i feel disgusting and selfish for feeling like everyone has ulterior motives of getting me to fall in love with them, or worse. that's so self centered of me. i dont know how long i can keep doing this

girl help i cant stop looking at anime figures on japan yahoo auctions !!!!!

- ��

𐂂 Display Persona:

𓆝𓆟 Rant and rave, smash your head against the cage 𓆜𓅫

- 21, 2spirit, any pronouns
- Switch, hedonist, ropebunny
- Straight white men please stop messaging me

𐂂 Last Seen Listening To:

Mosquito by Model/Actriz

𐂂 Latest Journal Entries:

Last updated: ��

I don't remember ever not having a sex drive, is that normal ? I was born and then it was all downhill from there, something happened to me sexually i think, I don't know what happened, because I don't remember much, but something happened and I was beaten for it and yelled at and my mother hated me, and now I am an adult and I try to have sex, and I'm not there mentally, even if my body is participating, I feel like I am in the past again, being beaten and yelled at . I want to keep trying, I want to have fun, to feel safe in someone else's arms, to reach the heights of pleasure, but my mind scares me so much, I haven't been able to eat anything today because I feel so horrified by my body . If I was good I would have been born as a nonsexual being, no parts, no desires, no instincts, a blank slate, too empty to be enjoyed . Do you know what it feels like, to have your mother tell you people want to sexually abuse you when you are a child, and then to be made fun of by your peers for being so ugly, to have your middle school and high school classmates joke about how much they don't want to have sex with you ? I am illicit and undesirable at the same time, I am everyone's last option, I am nothing and still too much, rotting deer meat on the side of the road . I wish I had been born as something beautiful and pure, I wish I could start over, that whatever that initial sin was had never been committed .. I want to start over

Went to a kink event the other night and everyone was so nice ... The low lights were fucking with my vision so one of the hosts helped me navigate the place . I ❤️ you random disabled ally with a pup mask on

- ��

⚠ Display Persona:

☠☢☣ IF U GOT A PROBLEM WITH ME, CAN U LET ME KNOW? ☣☢☠

- 19, she, black, cluster b + autistic
- mostly posts about rhythm games, fighting games, and fitness
- ask me about my figmas/gundams/garage kits

⚠ Last Seen Listening To:

Cobra by Megan Thee Stallion

⚠ Latest Journal Entries:

Last updated: ��

LMAOOOOO im too angry and miserable to be around. i think i just need to give up at this point because theres clearly like. something broken inside me that cant be fixed. that has 2 be it because i try to talk and i just sound cold, i try to make a joke and it comes out overly edgy and unfunny, i try to be like everyone else but its too much. i cant even be a collection of the positive traits i see in others, i try to replicate it and it comes out warped and wrong. im either fucking enraged or in abject misery or way too happy and nobody can keep up with me. the thing is i dont even blame them. i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know? i keep hoping that one day ill wake up and suddenly be normal, the mood swings will be gone and everyone will like me and i wont do stupid shit that pisses them off. but i know that day isnt coming. theres no hope for me and i want to say sorry to everyone who has ever had the misfortune of knowing me but i know it wouldnt do anything. theres nothing i could ever do to make myself right

i need to convince my gf to take me to Round One again soon

- ��

❄ Display Persona:

⁺₊❅. it's never over, she's the tear that hangs inside my soul forever࿐ ࿔:⁺₊

- 21, she/they
- don't read this, there's nothing interesting here

❄ Last Seen Listening To:

If Winter Ends by Bright Eyes

❄ Latest Journal Entries:

Last updated: ��

i don't want to do this anymore. i'm going somewhere better

talked with my psych and i'll be starting TMS soon, it's some thing where they put magnets to ur brain and it's supposed to treat depression.. trying to temper my expectations bc i've tried so many treatments that just do nothing for me, but i'd be lying if i said my hopes weren't riding on this. i want to confidently say i'm glad to be alive. i feel like i'm getting closer to that

- ��

☻ Display Persona:

⚕️☤ You can't say no to hope / Can't say no to happiness ☤⚕️

- 25, Female PMHNP
- Main interests are: Psychology, Psychiatry, Sociology, Harm Reduction, Disabled Pride, Mad Pride
- If you found this blog, this means I think you're special!

☻ Last Seen Listening To:

Penguin by Tujiko Noriko

☻ Latest Journal Entries:

Last updated: ��

I am so excited... Tomorrow my experimental outpatient treatment plan begins!!! I'm beyond delighted. I have complicated feelings about my DID being in remission, but it's nice to feel stable enough to be in charge of something this big, and to not have terrible gaps in my memory anymore. I still don't remember everything that happened to me, but maybe I don't need to. At this stage of my life, I feel content. I can confidently say everything was worth it. I want to help others feel that way, too. I think I can.

I'm meeting up with a new friend tomorrow... I feel nervous, but it's a good nervousness, I think!

- ��